Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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