i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
