she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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