Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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