he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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