i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you win again, gameday.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
