i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
