Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
