I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
