girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize