So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
