areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
