Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
