I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize