maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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