I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
