what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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