Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
should my penis look like a turkey
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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