I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
