You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
