i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
