As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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