Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
