those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize