It's just like the Real World with babies
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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