The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
