Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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