the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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