The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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