Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
