I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
