hotel room ftw
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
