We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
