YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
