good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i out mim tonsoeep
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