Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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