i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
