We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
