im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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