god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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