like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
