she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
