No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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