I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
