you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
