He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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