I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The adults are the big ones right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
