the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
