I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
what day is it and did you see me today?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
