dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
