So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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