turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Success! We fucked roommates!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize