She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
