If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
