talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
