Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize