you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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