I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
